Spore The Next Level: Rebirth, S1E4 Released!

Sorry about the lack of parts; I blame the face that SOME PEOPLE were TOO GOLDARN LAZY to WRITE SOME THINGUSES DOWN and COMMENT!

*calming down*
But enough of that, onto the next adventure! In this episode, we take a walk in Zeerois' combat boots as he goes off to rescue the Squelian leader's daughter. This idea was suggested to me (as usual) by eme12; as it would get another character (in this case Zeerois) developed as well as shake up the series a little bit. Don't worry, I plan on having this occur multiple times throughout the series (especially when we can into space).

Zeerois walks towards the camera, demonstrating his ability to be
featured in the adventure's thumbnail.

The brand new Kleekoonian aerodrome, complete with awesome
biplanes. (Yes, they immediately have sealed cabins. Not everything
the Kleekoonians make has to be based exactly off its Earth
counterpart!)

Zeerois takes his turn at looking at Annonsomil, which is still massive.

A nice little beauty shot of Kelamar, complete with its
ironclad docks. Pretty neat, isn't it?

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD (NEPOXES)

RANDOMOSITY: RIGHTS AND WRONGS

RANDOMOSITY NOW EVALUATE D SELF IN D OLD STNL CANON/FANON, ALL THE WHILE EATING CHEESE AND PUREEING SOUFFLE

DAT LIST BE ALL PURDEE

What Went Right

• The Rando'Moss'Itis are good Easter Eggs that allow me to slip in odd and funny
   sayings/blurbs without awkwardly shoving it in the main plot of an adventure.
• Like only a few other species, Rando'Moss'Itis managed to spread their randomness several other series, whether as individuals or Easter Eggs.
• They can be very comedic, especially when blowing themselves up in a "Boom Boom Relay".
• Their appearance is befitting of a strange and crazy race of aliens. I mean, they look and move crazy...
• Ever since Herbert flew away from Brope at the end of STNL² and almost ruined fungus3 and Nirvana for eme12 and I, the Rando'Moss'Itis (and Zoolohonians) are the last species to survive the end of the original SR universe and without being rebooted.

Neutral

• Spore The Next Level ended before I could delve deeper into Rando'Moss'Iti culture and their fixation on ideology.
• fungus3's backstory for them is... okay, but at least it didn't ruin them since I had no real backstory for them: they were just meant to be weird aliens who showed up at random intervals.
• However, this backstory (involving a supernova that spread entropy or whatever crap that was) allowed for the plausible introduction of other "randomized" species such as the Entropy Pods (eww), Wasabas and Spugs.

What Went Wrong

• In my opinion, the Rando'Moss'Itis showed up too often as Easter Eggs. Every few parts you could see Rando'Moss'Itis babbling and dancing, and it got kind of old.
• There were also only a few story arcs that directly involved them, and even then we didn't get to see their culture; just more Rando'Moss'Itis blathering.
• The whole thing with them having four genders was just ridiculous and made them too silly, even by their standards. It also meant you really had to specify which character was which gender, instead of just saying they were a guy or a gal.

OVERALL: Despite the fact that they were repetitive and not all that three-dimensional, the Rando'Moss'Itis were nevertheless a very entertaining and bizarre race that could almost rival the Kleekoonanonis in popularity.

Next time: A certain race of mostly-harmless primates from Sol III.

Why the Malcimats Must Die

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE 

Time to dust off the "Rants against Fungus3" category and rant about his latest trite villains, the Malcimats.

Pointlessly Trite

The Malcimats are just another bunch of trite Creature Stage villains who do nothing but sit there and become sentient. All the other "mean" creatures do more than this, and we can interact with them just fine; whether it's charming them into an alliance or drugging them with the Binding of Isaac-inspired drugs wiping them off the face of... whatever the planet in Nirvana is called again.

But the Malcimats? Nope. Can't lay a finger on them. And there's not even a good reason for it! I mean, if they were super-advanced (like the Garadreads in the original STNL) or had tons of allies (like the Xenaricos from SR), then it would make sense. In that case, they would be a true threat to be RECKONED WITH instead of just being lame red carnivores. There is no reason at all why we can't just all get together and launch the mass attack to end all mass attacks on them and end their trite villainy for good.

As they stand now, the Malcimats exist solely to drive us into a frenzy so that when we do kill them, everyone (most of all me) can cheer. There is little conflict that arises from them because they sit around like lazy bums. If they sent occasional raids or beat us to allying creatures or some crap like that, then there'd be a bit more conflict. But no; all they do is sit and make me want to play Nirvana less and less. The more I see time pass by without them dead, the more I want to find fungus3 and punch him.

Also, if they just sit around doing nothing all the time, then they're obviously stupid and gay* and deserve to get killed off ASAP.

The Paxos by Any Other Name

Cast your mind back to fungus3's first silicon-based trite villains, the Paxos. At the time, they were somewhat interesting since they were silicon-based, but still trite nevertheless. We couldn't kill them or even interact with them, and they unfortunately survived to menace the galaxy in the Space Stage. There's nothing to differentiate the Malcimats from the Paxos or any other trite villain fungus3 has made (me want to kill). If this were an interactive series in the SR Universe, then this would be less of an issue. But this is a reboot, for crying out loud. Yes, fungus3 has been against this from the beginning, but so was I when I first got onto Steam that Christmas afternoon. While I embraced a reboot and was eager to change and redo the backstories of the Kleekoonanonis/Kleekoonians, Zoolohonians, Garadreads, Jonterops, et al., fungus3 has chosen to keep the status quo and stuff a trite villain in his new series for the sake of stuffing a trite villain in his series.

The whole point of a reboot is to start anew without the mistakes of the old continuity. You don't see me putting Holly Short in and having her prance around, now do you? Do the Jonterops look like weird noodles or actual bird-people? Are the Garadreads hyper-intelligent and talking in the creature stage? No, because eme12 and I have learned what works best in an interactive series and what doesn't; not to mention our creating styles and stories have matured. By now, fungus3 should've learned trite villains simply don't work if they stand around and tempt me to kill them. They didn't work in WoEC, they didn't work in TSP, they didn't work any of his interactive series, and they don't work in Nirvana. I see no proof that fungus3 has advanced in any way as a creator or storyteller; and Nirvana feels like World of Evolutioncraft with new creatures and a new setting, but the same dumb trite villains.

Conclusion

Bad and trite villains are almost as bad a pet peeve as people misspelling my name. While I can tell people the correct spelling and notice that they get it, eme12 and I bombard fungus3 with rants over and over again without him budging. The Malcimats infest the new Revolution Universe and threaten to destroy the improvements it stands for! Something needs to change, and that something needs to be fungus3's ability to make non-trite villains who actually impress me beyond being immortal and shielded behind trite-villain armor. Another thing that needs to change is their existence: why can't we kill them all and end their stupidity and homosexuality forever?! Join me in denouncing the Malcimats as the trite villains they are!

*I'm not a Neo-Nazist Trump supporter who hates gay people. I have nothing against homosexuality and gender equality; just that eme12 likes calling them gay in the worst possible sense. And despite what he may say, he thinks Bernie Sanders rocks!

Spore The Next Level: Rebirth, S1E3 Released!

Welcome back to another episode of STNL: Rebirth, and just in time to see a totally incompetent and unqualified racist as president! That means I've played SPORE through three presidents: Dubya Bush (I don't recall), Obama (yay), and now Trump (BOO HISS). Politics aside, let's see what voting options and interactions present themselves, as we deal with crop rustlers, defectors, and ransoms!

Dude, that's not how you hold a pitchfork.

A Squelian truck full of radios and/or fish drives by a herd of
Nepoxes.

What... who?

A random Skomiste looks at the camera and smiles (or whatever
Skomistes do).

It's like something out of a corny superhero/cartoon TV show...

The Kleekoonanonis: What Went Right & Wrong

Now that the old Revolution Universe is officially dead and buried, I thought it'd be a good time to

look back on the good, bad, and ugly things about it. We'll start with its very first protagonists, the Kleekoonanonis of Spore the Next Level and Spore the Next Level².

What Went Right

• The Kleekoonanonis became a symbol of the Revolution Universe and its unofficial mascots.
• They had an interesting backstory with the Kraygans and Experimenters that tied into the very first episode of the series.
• They had a neat (and rather consistent) futuristic aesthetic to them, which was appropriate for a supposedly advanced and enlightened race. Plus, most of their stuff was blue, and blue is of course my favorite color.

What Was Okay

• Their FORM A GROUP curse was... okay. It got kind of annoying after a while, but early on it was entertaining.

What Went Wrong

• The Kleekoonanonis defied all plausible laws of evolution by having arms on their heads. It was a simple and silly mistake that I failed to notice back in 2011 that ended up making them look ridiculous and stupid.
• Their culture was incredibly bland and boring, and I didn't make any attempts to spice it up. We didn't learn about their politics or any religions they had, which could've them a bit interesting.
• Even though the Kleekoonanonis had a democracy, we never saw another president until a few parts before STNL² ended. It would've made an interesting idea seeing how different leaders reacted to different events and crises.
• We didn't see how individual Kleekoonanonis reacted to the fact that they were basically at war nonstop. They all blindly went along with it like sheep.
• Their naming convention with scrambled human names was dumb. I wasn't even trying to give them cool names.

In summation, there were too many bad things about the Kleekoonanonis that made them as uninteresting as fungus3's trite villains and not as good as I'd like them to be. Fortunately, their rebooted counterparts don't suffer from the same deficiencies.

Next time: Uh, I dunno... cheese. We'll talk about cheese. Yeah. Or something.

Spore The Next Level: Rebirth, S1E2 Released!

Just as the last episode was the first where we actual did things, so to is this episode the first one where we carry out our actions! Now, because I'm using the individual episode format instead of the old "1A-1B" format, there will actually be some voting in this one. You have been warned.

Anyways, we'll be engaging in some diplomacy with the Burkentons and the Squelians. Let's see how good this turns out...

The Burkentons and the Jonterops, ready to negotiate
in an effort to appease Zonn Tei and his fellow rebelling slaves.

Something tells me the Jonterops weren't especially impressed...

You know how in Doctor Who art they're always holding their
hand out dramatically at the camera? This is what Sabra is doing.

A beautiful shot of the Squelian, Zoolohonian, and Kleekoonian cities,
with some Nepoxes thrown in for good measure.

Spore The Next Level: Rebirth, S1E1 Released!

All right, onto the first episode of actual gameplay. In this part, we will scout the continent of Zhenauri (Aardvark123/dumblydum suggested the name) in order to find new cities to ally or attack to expand the glorious nation of the North Zhenaurian Republic. They may become our first allies or our first deadly foes... remember, it's up to you to decide how we proceed.

Anyone who's been around and playing STNL since 2011 will remember what the deal

is with these guys.

The original image of the version above; I decided this wasn't as good
but still good enough, if that even made sense.

Jercy's father Omalie. I introduced him after eme12 asked
"Why is Jercy in charge of this s**t?" (that's a direct quote) and then suggested that Jercy's father
be an important political figure to explain why Jercy has such influence. Omalie will primarily brief
you on what's happening in each part so you don't have to look funny talking
to a brick building.

Are you my mummy?

What's everyone looking at? Is it really that interesting?

Spore The Next Level: Rebirth, S1E0 Released!

At last, Spore The Next Level is coming back, and just in time to start 2017! Yes, I have released the first part of STNL Rebirth, a highly improved and innovative reboot of my beloved interactive series. This first part is a prologue that introduces the setting, characters, and mechanics of the series. Notably, you will be starting in the Civilization Stage on a single continent to help make Epindol bigger and more detailed. Also, I have renamed the Kleekoonanonis to "Kleekoonians" because eme12 and I agreed the old name was a tad too long. Also also, they don't have arms on their heads anymore, so rejoice!

A view of the Kleekoonian main city

Jercy (now Jercy D'Haar since the old surname sucked eggs)
stares at Epindol's moons. Annonsomil's enormous
size was made possible with a mod allowing for EXTREMELY
huge objects in adventures.

Two Kleekoonians wonder if there's more to life
than walking back and forth.

A preview of some new Epindolian wildlife, with the old-ish Nepox
joined by a new Skomiste (which is an evolutionary relative
of the Kleekoonian).